


You Better Throw The First Punch

by DaineVin



Category: Gokusen - All Media Types
Genre: But it's okay, Communication Issues, First Kiss, Getting Together, Kinda, M/M, Mutual Pining, Realizations, yamato is oblivious and honestly ren isn't much better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 16:04:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15368199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaineVin/pseuds/DaineVin
Summary: It takes Yamato about three months to figure out he’s in love with Ren.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's 2018 and I'm writing Gokusen. But when I get an itch I need to get it out or it bugs me forever, and honestly I have more ideas about Gokusen fics than I know what to do with. 
> 
> This fic doesn't follow the events in the Gokusen 3 Special and I took some liberties with Yamato's school major.
> 
> The two chapters follow both boys' perspectives on how they fell for each other and how they deal with it.

It takes Yamato about three months to figure out he’s in love with Ren. It’s stupid, once he realizes it, how long it took him to know. It’s even stupider knowing he’s probably been crushing on Ren for a lot longer than that. 

You see, in Yamato’s world feelings aren’t necessarily a good thing. God knows his family is a great example of that. He doesn’t want to end up being like his father. So having feelings for someone never really occurred to him even when those feelings punched him in the face. Literally. And that was something Yamato knew how to respond to, punching back and allowing himself to label it hate. 

\------- 

Becoming Ren’s friend, joining their groups, uniting the class, it was one of the best things to ever happen in his life. But he also didn’t have the excuse to punch anymore. And then Ren was smiling at him, that huge bright smile that kind of sucked the air out of the room and Yamato had no one left to punch about it. Ren was loud, impulsive, passionate, he was so much more than what first met the eye and Yamato felt like he was in the middle of a hurricane being tossed around in the greatest way and he was horrified at the same time, wondering how he was going to survive it.

Yamato didn’t know what to do when he felt like that. He didn’t even understand why he felt it in the first place, why he had that burning desire to stay by Ren’s side, to fight alongside with him, to be at the receiving end of those smiles. He didn’t understand why it burned stronger when Ren was excited about the group dates, why he didn’t want to go but went anyway, why he bit into the teasing and pretended to engage in the stupid “who will get a date” competitions even when he had no interest in a date. 

It was easy to fall into the role of someone who cared about it. The girls seemed sweet, he smiled and acted nice, and bit his tongue almost to blood when one of them leaned over to touch Ren’s arm after a joke he made. Yamato didn’t really understand why they were doing it, he didn’t get why they were lying when sooner or later everyone found out who they really were. He didn’t get why it couldn’t be just them, friends living out the last year of high school as good as they could. The only thing that could come out of the dates was group embarrassment and rejection. 

Yet everyone else seemed perfectly happy to engage, Ren seemed perfectly happy to be there, so Yamato bit his lip and let it happen even when he knew it would never last.

\------ 

Goda was bad news and Yamato knew him reappearing would bring nothing good. He knew he was helpless from stopping it, too, and one look at Ren told him the other felt the same. But they would be fine, he knew. Ren and the others were beside him and Yamaguchi had their backs. Whatever Goda brought with him, they’d be okay. They weren't.

Getting dragged into that warehouse, Yamato felt something was off. A feeling deep in his bones told him something was different, he didn’t know what but dread filled him. It wasn’t their first time being dragged into a warehouse like that, it wasn’t the first beating they were taking. They didn’t fight back, but there was something else too. A shift in the air that smelled of danger, a real danger. Yamaguchi wasn’t coming. 

Yamato was on the ground, he could see Honjo and Kamiya using their bodies to protect the others, someone was kicking him and he wondered if one of the kicks would break a rib. Then Goda made his way toward him and it sent Ren into a frenzy, he was yelling his name and then everything happened so fast Yamato didn’t have time to register it. One moment Ren was trying to get Goda off of him the next he was pushed into the shelf. The metal pipes fell for what seemed like forever and Yamato could only stand and stare, frozen on the ground. The sound echoed through the warehouse. Ren didn’t move. And then the world returned to its normal speed and everyone was yelling Ren’s name and Goda and his goons were running away and Yamato never felt more scared in his life. 

Waiting in front of the surgery room was torture. Tears kept pushing at Yamato’s eyes and he kept blinking them away, refusing to cry because Ren was going to be okay. Ren was the strongest person Yamato knew and he was going to be okay. He was going to wake up and smile again and Yamato was going to punch him for being so stupid and acting out like that. 

But what if he didn’t? The entire class sitting in the hospital’s lobby in silence allowed Yamato’s mind to wander. He began imagining a word without Ren’s loud voice, without his bright smile, stupid ideas, his energy that was so strong, such a big part of Yamato’s life by now… Yamato’s heart stopped. Fear gripped his chest in a vice hold and refused to let go. What if he never heard Ren speak again? What if… What if he never got to tell Ren how much he meant to him? How much… How much he loved him. 

The realisation punched out the last amount of air he had left in his lungs. He loved Ren, he loved him in the deep, ridiculous way one read about in books and he'd been too damn dense to understand it. But he understood now and it only served to chill his insides and freeze them over with fear.

Yamato wasn’t good with fear. He never knew how to deal with it, and it frustrated him. Now, it made him furious. Furious at himself for failing to keep Ren safe, furious at life for making them face a danger after another, furious at Goda who put Ren in a hospital bed fighting for his life like he never should because Ren deserved the world. 

The decision came easy. Anger never did anything good but anger was familiar territory. He didn’t have to stop and think, he just had to let it go and allow the fire in the pit of his stomach grow and spread through his body until he was moving on his own. Goda had to pay. If Ren was going to fight for his life so should that bastard. Yamato wanted to hurt him, he wanted to feel him cower beneath him, wanted him to pay for continuing to ruin their lives. And he was going to make him. 

He didn’t plan on the others following but he was too gone to care. Punching Goda only poured more fuel into the roaring fire inside of him, he wanted to hurt, to feel the other’s bones crack underneath his knuckles, and even when they were outnumbered and brought down to the ground it didn’t stop, it grew, and it grew, the image of Ren on that stretcher was burned behind his eyelids, unmoving and hurt. Yamato was going to either kill Goda or die trying. 

He’d never seriously wanted to hurt Yamaguchi until she stood between him and the bastard. But the moment she stopped him he almost wanted her gone as much as he wanted Goda dead. The anger was telling him to hurt over and over and only when he saw the scared look in her own eyes did he realize what he was about to do. What he’d almost let himself do because he was scared. He still was scared, that didn’t change, but the anger was gone and then he cried. And he didn’t really stop crying until Ren woke up, but only after he cried in relief, too. 

\------ 

Not being allowed to see Ren for the two weeks of their suspension, while Ren healed up, was excruciating. With his newfound understanding of his feelings Yamato felt restless. He wanted to make sure Ren was alright first, and then… Then what? Tell him? It didn’t really matter, did it? Yamato didn’t expect much, he didn’t expect Ren to like him back or anything. It didn’t have to be like that, except he wanted it to. He wanted to kiss that stupid smile and run his fingers through Ren’s hair and hold his stupid hand or whatever it was that couples did. But he was ready to face rejection and if Ren was okay with it, continue being his friend nonetheless. 

\----- 

Going back to school is the most exciting and terrifying thing all at once. Yamato is sitting on his desk when Ren walks through the door and he’s smiling like he’s happy to be back, and Yamato stands up faster than the rest of the class can look up, but then they do and Ren is lost in a crowd of cheering boys, all happy to see him, and Yamato is there too, he hugs him and pats his back and tells Ren he’s happy, and the rest of the day slips by before he knows it. 

\----- 

And just like that they’re graduating and Yamato has been missing chance after a chance to say the words that are now permanently at the tip of his tongue. But he can never find the right moment. So he waits some more. 

\------ 

It’s weird not being in school anymore. It’s weird when Ren goes around in normal clothes, and it’s weird that they can stay outside late at night without having to worry about a policeman targeting them for just being from 3-D. And they take advantage of it, basking in their newfound freedom, treasuring the moments before they’d have to continue their life as adults. 

It’s a night like that when Yamato finally feels ready. They’re walking through the park, wasting time, and it’s calm and it doesn’t feel like much has changed since they graduated yet the entire world seems different. Like they’re the same people but everything around them changed. 

They reach the playground and Ren sits on a swing, Yamato following suit. 

“I’ve been looking into jobs.” Ren says, his eyes fixed on something at the other end of the playground. “Something more solid than a part-time, you know?” 

Yamato nods and grunts an affirmative. “Found anything?” 

Ren shakes his head but he’s got a smile playing on his lips. “Not really. But it’s fine, I’m sure something will pop up soon. Although...” He trails off for a moment and looks at Yamato. “I guess it’s still weird to me that you’ll continue studying.” He says kind of sheepishly and Yamato rolls his eyes a little. 

“Is it surprising?” 

Ren shakes his head again. “No. Just weird that you’ll be in school but we won’t be in a class together.”

“You can always try and get in, too.” Yamato jokes.

“I think they will put me in jail for making unsafe blueprints or something.” Ren laughs and it’s nice. It’s very nice. 

“I’ll miss us being in class together, too.” 

Ren nods. “We won’t stop seeing each other.” A pause. “Right?” 

It’s Yamato’s turn to laugh. “Of course not, stupid.” How could he even think of that? “Unless...” 

Ren waits for him to continue for a minute but Yamato doesn’t. “Unless?” He prompts and he sounds a little worried. 

Yamato swallows, looks down at his feet, kicking at the dirt a bit. “Um… There’s something that… Might make you not want to be around me anymore.” 

Ren stares at him. “Are you in some sort of trouble?” He asks and now he’s more worried and Yamato’s heart clenches. 

“No, no. It’s not like that.” He assures and tries for a smile. “I just… Hm. I just need to put it out there because I can’t keep it inside me or it’ll drive me crazy.” He nods at himself, satisfied with the way he put it. Ren waits. Yamato takes a moment and looks up at him with a look of determination he doesn’t really feel. “I like you.” The words leave his mouth and take a whole ton of weight with them. “I really like you- no. I love you.” Now that it’s started he can’t stop speaking. “And I guess it’s been like that for a long time, and I want you to know it. And it’s okay that you don’t, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, you don’t have to do anything about it or… It doesn’t have to change anything.” 

Ren stares for a minute. Yamato is barely breathing because what if he just ruined the best thing he has in life? 

“You love me?” Ren says in the end and Yamato can only give a nod. “And you’re okay with… Not getting anything in return?” 

Yamato rolls his eyes. “I’m not going to blame you for being straight.” 

Ren lets out something that sounds like a laugh but it could’ve easily been a forceful sigh. Yamato is about to ask what kind of reaction is that but his thought is cut short by Ren leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips. It’s short, a peck more than anything, and then he’s gone but Yamato is pretty sure he just died. He stares at Ren with startled look. The bastard is grinning. 

“Don’t make assumptions like that on your own.” He says and stands up from the swing. 

Yamato follows up but only mechanically because his mind is reeling. He can’t take his eyes off Ren and Ren’s grin isn’t wavering even as he reaches out and takes Yamato’s hand. Slowly Yamato smiles, too. 

They walk like that until it’s time to separate, and it’s cheesy how they stop and Ren rubs the back of his head before leaning in to kiss Yamato again, and stays there for a few seconds, allowing Yamato to kiss back, and it’s like some sappy drama but damn it Yamato will take it. He’ll take all of it. 

Both of them walk backwards, grinning at each other until they eventually round a corner and Yamato has a skip in his step as he walks home. Ren texts him goodnight. The skip never really leaves his step for weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is Ren's POV.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

It takes Ren a week to realize he’s got feelings for Ogata Yamato. It takes him a second to see the boy sitting in front of the school, face bruised because he confronted the person Ren got falsely accused because of, and understand that he wants to be by his side forever but it’s not that simple. 

Ren never hated Yamato, not really. Yamato attacked and Ren fought back because that’s something he knew how to do. Yamato glared and Ren glared harder. Yamato sneered and insulted and Ren doubled down, insulting more. He followed the lead because it was easy, because Yamato’s friends picked on his friends, and Ren protected his friends. He didn’t back down because he didn’t like losing, and it threw them into a cursed loop of pulling and pushing that eventually lost its meaning until the only thing that remained clear was the anger.

Ren didn’t hate Yamato but Yamato hated Ren and that’s how it was. So Ren punched back and let himself think little of it. 

\----- 

Seeing Yamato and the others being beaten up sparked a rage in Ren he’d never quite felt before. He’d always been the type to think after he acted, but he barely even registered himself running into that tunnel, screaming and waving the nearest pole. 

Later sitting on the small bridge, all mixed up, his back to Yamato, Ren couldn’t help but feel victorious. Felt like something had shifted for the best. 

And it had. No one would have guessed the six of them would click so well but as soon as they did they all wondered why in the hell they were fighting in the first place. Yamato starts smiling at Ren then and Ren cherishes every single one. 

Yamato was… Well, he was complicated. He was quiet, but in the same time the loudest voice in the room. And everyone considered them both as the leaders but Ren knew the true leader was Yamato and he was more than okay with it. 

Ren spent a lot of his time observing his new friend, he spent all of their time together falling in love bit by bit until it hurt. Yamato wasn’t someone who liked dating. He covered it up good but Ren knew he never liked the group dates, and the maid cafe, and he took girls’ numbers but never texted them. And Ren understood. It wasn’t for everyone. And he tried even harder to meet a girl who would make his heart jump the way Yamato did but it never quite worked. A part of him wanted to confess, the other told him that something like that would only sacre Yamato away so he pushed it all down and did his best to be the best friend one could have. It had to be enough. 

\------ 

It had taken Ren one day to realize he couldn’t stand the sight of someone hurting Yamato. He couldn’t stand the sight of someone hurting the rest, too, don’t get him wrong. But seeing Yamato on the ground, bloody and bruised, it filled him with terror fueled rage, because one wrong kick and Yamato would be gone and Ren had no idea what to do with that thought. 

Goda was crazy. He was thirsty for violence and it honestly scared Ren. It had scared him the first time, and then they were dragged into the warehouse and Yamato was on the ground again and Ren’s whole body hurt but it didn’t matter because Goda was kicking with such vigour Ren could hear the shift in Yamato’s bones. It lit Ren’s skin on fire and he pulled free and jumped at Goda. The older was stronger but it didn’t matter because he was off Yamato. Then Goda was pushing him away and Ren barely registered the clatter of the metal tubes before everything went dark. 

\----- 

Ren didn’t like seeing his sister cry. And she cried a lot after he woke up. She was relieved and he knew it, but it didn’t stop him from feeling a little guilty. He was always getting into trouble, making her worry. He apologized and she scolded him for thinking it was his fault. They were good. 

The second thing he asked her about was Yamato. She assured him he was okay, told him how shaken they’d all been, told him about Yamato leading an attack on Goda’s gang. And Ren’s heart was gripped by fear because one shouldn’t do such reckless things, but he also felt warm, too. 

He almost threw a fit when his friends weren’t allowed to see him in the hospital, but his sister remained unwavering, insisting that was their collective punishment for getting themselves into trouble. With some grunting an pouting Ren agreed. 

\------- 

If five months earlier someone had told Ren that he’d be impatient to go back to school he’d have probably punched them for even thinking such thing. Now he is twitchy and anxious because time isn’t moving fast enough for him to get there. To get to Yamato. He’s forbidden from running for at least a couple more weeks so he arrives at school last. 

He opens the classroom door and Yamato shoots to his feet immediately and Ren isn’t supposed to be running but he wants to run to him. Except he doesn’t get the chance because in the next moment the whole classroom erupts into cheers and Ren is swallowed by his classmates crowding around him. Yamato is there, and he pats his back and tells him he’s happy Ren is alright, and Ren is happy too. 

\----- 

Yamato is hiding something and Ren can practically smell it in the air around him but he doesn’t ask. He trusts the other will tell him when he’s ready so he makes sure to always be available for him. But then they’re graduating and Yamato is as silent as ever and Ren starts to think that maybe that’s a secret he’s never going to learn. And that’s okay. 

\----- 

Being an adult is hard. Or, at least, becoming an adult is hard. Ren doesn’t see himself as an adult yet, despite looking for a job and taking on more and more responsibility. But then they still hang out whenever they can. Kura has a job, and Ichi is working hard to pass his entry exams, and Kamiya is on a trip to self-discovery, and Honjo began working in the tofu shop as soon as school ended, but they find time and they’re still them and things are still good. And then there’s Yamato who is going to be an architect of all things. To spite his father, to prove himself he’s a better version of himself, and Ren is proud of him. So so proud. 

And they see each other at any given possibility. And they walk around and are free. School had ended barely two weeks ago and they already felt like better versions of themselves and it was something they never failed to thank Yamaguchi for. Privately, in his own thoughts, Ren thanked her for not giving up on her efforts to make them friends, too. He’d always be indebted to her for it. 

They’re walking around the park one evening and Ren feels lighter than air for some reason. They reach the playground and he sits on the swing and swings himself lightly. Yamato sits on the other one. 

“I’ve been looking into jobs,” Ren breaks the silence, looking at the benches in the near distance. “Something more solid than part-time, you know?” He wants to support his sister and give back as much as he can for everything she had to put up raising him. 

Yamato grunts beside him. “Found anything?” 

Ren shakes his head but smiles. “Not really. But it’s fine, I’m sure something will pop up soon. Although...” He pauses to look at Yamato. “I guess it’s still weird to me that you’ll continue studying.” He says and Yamato rolls his eyes and Ren can’t help but grin a little wider. 

“Is it surprising?” 

Ren shakes his head again. “No. Just weird that you’ll be in school but we won’t be in a class together.”

“You can always try and get in, too.” Yamato says and the very idea is completely ridiculous even as a joke.

“I think they will put me in jail for making unsafe blueprints or something.” Ren laughs but he actually also means it. He wouldn’t mind being in class with Yamato again, he’ll miss that something fierce but they had to grow up.

“I’ll miss us being in class together, too.” Yamato says and it makes things better.

Ren nods. “We won’t stop seeing each other.” And that’s a fear he’s had for a while now, making its way to the surface. “Right?” 

Yamato’s laugh is almost surprised. “Of course not, stupid. Unless...” 

Ren freezes. Was that the moment? Yamato has been carrying his secret, was it bad enough to stand between them? Ren was sure nothing the other ever did would make him want to get away. “Unless?” He prompts and he’s maybe freaking out a little. 

Yamato doesn’t look at him. “Um… There’s something that… Might make you not want to be around me anymore.” 

Ren stares at him. “Are you in some sort of trouble?” His heart is beating faster. 

“No, no. It’s not like that.” Yamato hurries to say and some of the worry eases in Ren’s stomach. “I just… Hm. I just need to put it out there because I can’t keep it inside me or it’ll drive me crazy.” He nods and it takes him painfully long time to look up and speak again. “I like you.” The words echo in the quiet night. “I really like you- no. I love you. And I guess it’s been like that for a long time, and I want you to know it. And it’s okay that you don’t, I’m not trying to make you feel guilty or anything, you don’t have to do anything about it or… It doesn’t have to change anything.” 

For a moment Ren thinks he might still be in his hospital room, dreaming after the surgery, because only his dreams ever take him here. But it’s all real and Yamato is looking at him with big eyes, open and vulnerable just for Ren and for once in his life Ren doesn’t know what to say.

What comes out in the end is a question. “You love me?” Yamato nods. “And you’re okay with… Not getting anything in return?” 

Yamato rolls his eyes again. “I’m not going to blame you for being straight.” 

And that’s the funniest thing Ren has heard that year. It’s so hilarious that an unholy sound leaves his lips, and he can’t stop it because Yamato talks as if he doesn’t hold Ren’s heart in the palm of his hands. But of course he doesn’t know that because Ren never said so. He made assumptions and just decided Yamato wasn’t the dating type. He should make a “Ren Stupidity Jar” and put money in it for every dumb thing he did. 

But he doesn’t have the time to think about that because Yamato is right there and waiting for him to react and damn it words aren’t Ren’s strong side, so he leans in and presses their lips together. It sends a jolt of electricity through him and he’s so surprised he pulls back immediately, but he’s smiling, he can’t not smile.

“Don’t make assumptions like that on your own.” He says because it’s ironic, because he’s been jumping to conclusions all year, and it’s nice to know both of them are stupid like that.

He practically jumps off the swing, newfound energy coursing through his body. Yamato looks a little dazed as he follows and Ren uses the moment to link their hands. The other is looking at him with what can only be described as wonder as he smiles as well and Ren is sure this is what true happiness feels like. 

He doesn’t want to let go but they have to. It’s getting late and Ren could invite Yamato over but it’s too soon. He doesn’t want to muck it up. They stop where their shared road ends and Ren feels just a little awkward before initiating their second kiss. Yamato kisses back and Ren is ready to melt into a puddle on the pavement. 

The other doesn’t take his eyes off of him as they walk backwards and Ren gives a silly wave before he rounds the corner then runs all the way home, his lungs burning with the lack of oxygen but he likes it because it reminds me of the way Yamato makes him feel. 

He spends twenty minutes writing a goodnight text and hugs his phone to sleep as he gets one back. The future is shaping up to be great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this concludes it. There isn't enough Ren/Yamato out there and that's sad.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you liked it!


End file.
